Well, I thought that I would be done with the breastfeeding by now. With V off to daycare while the nanny went on vacation, and V's loss of interest in nursing, I figured we'd be on formula by now. I had resigned myself to accept it and even started to look forward to the day when I could wear a real bra again and eat whatever I wanted again (oh, my kingdom for a Vietnamese coffee!).
As it turns out, being away from Mommy all day has rekindled V's desire to nurse. How's that for irony! My boobs have petered out during the day. They just have no love for the pump. But morning, night, and weekends, they seem to meet V's needs.
Of course, now V has a few more teeth, and I was really wanting that Vietnamese coffee, so now I'm wondering when I can wean. Isn't that the way it always goes?
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
My Boobs Surrender
Back in January, I weaned V from six nursing sessions a day to five. After all, she was eight months old by then and eating a variety of solids. The plan was to cut one nursing every other month until I got down to three times a day. The plan was solid: four nursings at ten months, then three nursings at a year, and then I would let V determine when to wean altogether.
It turns out that V is ready now, at 10 months old. Mornings and bedtimes, she is a voracious little eater at the breast, but the rest of the day... meh. She'd rather crawl, babble, suck on her fingers, grab the nearest toy (that would be defined as anything in her reach), or just stare at me and laugh.
Like any mother would do, my first instinct was to blame myself: Am I not making enough milk? Is it something in my diet? Am I too stressed out from work to let down? (Hey, when did my Mom rent a space in my inner monologue?!) Then like any good Chinese mom, I blamed V: Is she not latching well because of her teething and getting frustrated? Is her wiggling preventing the let down from happening?
It turns out she's just ready early, not like E who I breastfed until he was 15 months old. Not that I haven't tried everything I could think of to prolong the breastfeeding. I have tried pumping to increase supply, as well as fenugreek (which it turns out can cause massive diarrhea in about 10% of the people who take it, and I'm one of those lucky 10%). I tried sensory deprivation, feeding her in a pitch black room with no sound (that would be the toilet closet of one of our bathrooms - very sanitary eh?). I tried feeding her consistently at the same time.
It's only been six weeks since V lost interest, so obviously I haven't tried anything for that long a duration, but between the fenugreek and the sensory deprivation, I can sit on my toilet for only so long. I finally decided that if she doesn't want it, why should I continually try to force it on her? It's just causing me more stress.
So I still offer her the breast, and if she's not interested, I pump what little I can. I just bought some formula yesterday, and she seems OK drinking it from a bottle or cup. The formula is still my backup for now, but I've finally come to terms with the fact that V will probably be fully weaned by the time she turns one.
I don't know why it seems so bittersweet that she's not interested anymore. Breastfeeding is kind of a pain. And I still have our early morning and late night cuddle-time. Maybe I just miss all the extra calories I would burn. Maybe I have been brainwashed by the lactation nazis who say that mothers who don't breastfeed for the entire first year don't really love their children.
But at the end of the day, the one person for whom the breastfeeding matters most is interested in doing something else, so if she is giving me permission to let it go, I guess I should graciously accept it.
It turns out that V is ready now, at 10 months old. Mornings and bedtimes, she is a voracious little eater at the breast, but the rest of the day... meh. She'd rather crawl, babble, suck on her fingers, grab the nearest toy (that would be defined as anything in her reach), or just stare at me and laugh.
Like any mother would do, my first instinct was to blame myself: Am I not making enough milk? Is it something in my diet? Am I too stressed out from work to let down? (Hey, when did my Mom rent a space in my inner monologue?!) Then like any good Chinese mom, I blamed V: Is she not latching well because of her teething and getting frustrated? Is her wiggling preventing the let down from happening?
It turns out she's just ready early, not like E who I breastfed until he was 15 months old. Not that I haven't tried everything I could think of to prolong the breastfeeding. I have tried pumping to increase supply, as well as fenugreek (which it turns out can cause massive diarrhea in about 10% of the people who take it, and I'm one of those lucky 10%). I tried sensory deprivation, feeding her in a pitch black room with no sound (that would be the toilet closet of one of our bathrooms - very sanitary eh?). I tried feeding her consistently at the same time.
It's only been six weeks since V lost interest, so obviously I haven't tried anything for that long a duration, but between the fenugreek and the sensory deprivation, I can sit on my toilet for only so long. I finally decided that if she doesn't want it, why should I continually try to force it on her? It's just causing me more stress.
So I still offer her the breast, and if she's not interested, I pump what little I can. I just bought some formula yesterday, and she seems OK drinking it from a bottle or cup. The formula is still my backup for now, but I've finally come to terms with the fact that V will probably be fully weaned by the time she turns one.
I don't know why it seems so bittersweet that she's not interested anymore. Breastfeeding is kind of a pain. And I still have our early morning and late night cuddle-time. Maybe I just miss all the extra calories I would burn. Maybe I have been brainwashed by the lactation nazis who say that mothers who don't breastfeed for the entire first year don't really love their children.
But at the end of the day, the one person for whom the breastfeeding matters most is interested in doing something else, so if she is giving me permission to let it go, I guess I should graciously accept it.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Pump 'Til You Drop
I have two friends who have recently given birth to their first babies, one of them having birthed twins vaginally (I will forever be in awe that she accomplished that). And it seems that when I talk to them, pumping breast milk is a topic that always comes up. When it comes to the natural art of breastfeeding, pumping is a new, hi-tech phenomenon.
The variety of breastmilk pumps on the market today is staggering. Everyone asks which model of pump is best, manual or electric (or both), which manufacturer to get, what accessories are needed, whether to buy or rent.... And those questions come up before ever getting the breastmilk pump. Then the questions turn to how often to pump, how does pumping work with feeding, how does one clean the pump (especially in public), yada yada yada.
For anyone who has questions about breastfeeding, I recommend the Kellymom website (www.kellymom.com), which has a great section covering pumping (www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html).
If you are a pumping mom, I salute you, because I personally find pumping to be a big fat pain in the boob and a lot of trouble. One of my friends is pumping exclusively - what a hero! If I were in her place, I probably would have switched to formula already. My friend with twins has had something attached to her boobs since the twins were born - either a baby or a breast pump.
As for my own situation, I am lucky to be able to breastfeed directly most of the time, so I use a small hand pump (Medela Harmony) or hand express when needed. I do, however, recommend getting some Medela freezer tubes (www.medela.com/NewFiles/brpmpacc.html#freezer_pak) for milk storage. They allow you to store your milk in smaller amounts, about 2.5 ounces, and you can attach a nipple directly to the bottles to feed. And after you're done breastfeeding, they make great storage for Cheerios in your kiddie bag or lunch box.
Happy Pumping.
The variety of breastmilk pumps on the market today is staggering. Everyone asks which model of pump is best, manual or electric (or both), which manufacturer to get, what accessories are needed, whether to buy or rent.... And those questions come up before ever getting the breastmilk pump. Then the questions turn to how often to pump, how does pumping work with feeding, how does one clean the pump (especially in public), yada yada yada.
For anyone who has questions about breastfeeding, I recommend the Kellymom website (www.kellymom.com), which has a great section covering pumping (www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html).
If you are a pumping mom, I salute you, because I personally find pumping to be a big fat pain in the boob and a lot of trouble. One of my friends is pumping exclusively - what a hero! If I were in her place, I probably would have switched to formula already. My friend with twins has had something attached to her boobs since the twins were born - either a baby or a breast pump.
As for my own situation, I am lucky to be able to breastfeed directly most of the time, so I use a small hand pump (Medela Harmony) or hand express when needed. I do, however, recommend getting some Medela freezer tubes (www.medela.com/NewFiles/brpmpacc.html#freezer_pak) for milk storage. They allow you to store your milk in smaller amounts, about 2.5 ounces, and you can attach a nipple directly to the bottles to feed. And after you're done breastfeeding, they make great storage for Cheerios in your kiddie bag or lunch box.
Happy Pumping.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Whose Boobs Are They Anyway?
Breastfeeding mothers today face many challenges. In addition to the ordeals that can come with both mommy and baby learning how to breastfeed, what should be a normal way of feeding is still considered taboo in a lot of public places and situations. But many mothers expect this and understand that strangers may feel uncomfortable when one whips a boob out in a public place.
What this mother did not expect is to encounter so much resistance to breastfeeding from her own mother. I was born in the 1970's, when the prevailing medical opinion was that formula was better than breast milk. "Fortified with all the nutrients science has proven your baby needs!" "Know exactly how much your baby is eating!" "Easy and convenient!" "Liberate the mom from feeding duty!"
Of course, today's doctors recommend breastfeeding when possible. But that didn't change my mother's opinion. Whenever my son was sick or fussy in his first few months of life, my mother would say, "Maybe there is something wrong with your milk," or "maybe you're not making enough". In truth, I think my decision to breastfeed, first and foremost, shattered my mother's ideas of what it meant to be a grandma: she had always pictured herself sitting in a glider, cradling her grandson in her arms, and feeding him a bottle of milk. If I were to breastfeed, she thought that she would never get the satisfaction of feeding her grand-baby. But I think she also may have felt a pang of guilt over not breastfeeding me, even though at the time, it was what the doctors recommended.
When she realized that I could, and would, pump when I went to work, she was a little more supportive, if not more informed. "Why don't you just pump like a quart of breastmilk in the morning before you go to work instead of pumping all day? If there is any left over, you can go out for dinner and I can babysit."
It took a LOT of educating and forwarding of articles and web pages on my part before she came around. And I learned that what she wanted most was to be involved in the process. When I would breastfeed, if my mother was around, she would often accompany me and watch in wonder. If my son fussed at the nipple, she would gently cheer him on, "Come on, baby, it's OK. Your mommy has milky for you."
However, it did eventually get a little ridiculous. At one point, she felt comfortable enough not only to cheer him on, but she would actually jiggle my boob around to help him find the nipple (think Diana Ross's fondling of L'il Kim's jugs at the MTV Video Awards). Mom, really, do you have to grab my boob? This is really embarrassing, the waiter will be back with our order any minute now! If people are uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out her boob in public, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they are seeing that woman's mother bouncing her boob around, too.
So the moral of the story is: When it comes to breastfeeding, if your parents are part of the 'formula generation', education is crucial in getting their support, and don't let them touch your boobs.
What this mother did not expect is to encounter so much resistance to breastfeeding from her own mother. I was born in the 1970's, when the prevailing medical opinion was that formula was better than breast milk. "Fortified with all the nutrients science has proven your baby needs!" "Know exactly how much your baby is eating!" "Easy and convenient!" "Liberate the mom from feeding duty!"
Of course, today's doctors recommend breastfeeding when possible. But that didn't change my mother's opinion. Whenever my son was sick or fussy in his first few months of life, my mother would say, "Maybe there is something wrong with your milk," or "maybe you're not making enough". In truth, I think my decision to breastfeed, first and foremost, shattered my mother's ideas of what it meant to be a grandma: she had always pictured herself sitting in a glider, cradling her grandson in her arms, and feeding him a bottle of milk. If I were to breastfeed, she thought that she would never get the satisfaction of feeding her grand-baby. But I think she also may have felt a pang of guilt over not breastfeeding me, even though at the time, it was what the doctors recommended.
When she realized that I could, and would, pump when I went to work, she was a little more supportive, if not more informed. "Why don't you just pump like a quart of breastmilk in the morning before you go to work instead of pumping all day? If there is any left over, you can go out for dinner and I can babysit."
It took a LOT of educating and forwarding of articles and web pages on my part before she came around. And I learned that what she wanted most was to be involved in the process. When I would breastfeed, if my mother was around, she would often accompany me and watch in wonder. If my son fussed at the nipple, she would gently cheer him on, "Come on, baby, it's OK. Your mommy has milky for you."
However, it did eventually get a little ridiculous. At one point, she felt comfortable enough not only to cheer him on, but she would actually jiggle my boob around to help him find the nipple (think Diana Ross's fondling of L'il Kim's jugs at the MTV Video Awards). Mom, really, do you have to grab my boob? This is really embarrassing, the waiter will be back with our order any minute now! If people are uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out her boob in public, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they are seeing that woman's mother bouncing her boob around, too.
So the moral of the story is: When it comes to breastfeeding, if your parents are part of the 'formula generation', education is crucial in getting their support, and don't let them touch your boobs.
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