Breastfeeding mothers today face many challenges. In addition to the ordeals that can come with both mommy and baby learning how to breastfeed, what should be a normal way of feeding is still considered taboo in a lot of public places and situations. But many mothers expect this and understand that strangers may feel uncomfortable when one whips a boob out in a public place.
What this mother did not expect is to encounter so much resistance to breastfeeding from her own mother. I was born in the 1970's, when the prevailing medical opinion was that formula was better than breast milk. "Fortified with all the nutrients science has proven your baby needs!" "Know exactly how much your baby is eating!" "Easy and convenient!" "Liberate the mom from feeding duty!"
Of course, today's doctors recommend breastfeeding when possible. But that didn't change my mother's opinion. Whenever my son was sick or fussy in his first few months of life, my mother would say, "Maybe there is something wrong with your milk," or "maybe you're not making enough". In truth, I think my decision to breastfeed, first and foremost, shattered my mother's ideas of what it meant to be a grandma: she had always pictured herself sitting in a glider, cradling her grandson in her arms, and feeding him a bottle of milk. If I were to breastfeed, she thought that she would never get the satisfaction of feeding her grand-baby. But I think she also may have felt a pang of guilt over not breastfeeding me, even though at the time, it was what the doctors recommended.
When she realized that I could, and would, pump when I went to work, she was a little more supportive, if not more informed. "Why don't you just pump like a quart of breastmilk in the morning before you go to work instead of pumping all day? If there is any left over, you can go out for dinner and I can babysit."
It took a LOT of educating and forwarding of articles and web pages on my part before she came around. And I learned that what she wanted most was to be involved in the process. When I would breastfeed, if my mother was around, she would often accompany me and watch in wonder. If my son fussed at the nipple, she would gently cheer him on, "Come on, baby, it's OK. Your mommy has milky for you."
However, it did eventually get a little ridiculous. At one point, she felt comfortable enough not only to cheer him on, but she would actually jiggle my boob around to help him find the nipple (think Diana Ross's fondling of L'il Kim's jugs at the MTV Video Awards). Mom, really, do you have to grab my boob? This is really embarrassing, the waiter will be back with our order any minute now! If people are uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out her boob in public, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they are seeing that woman's mother bouncing her boob around, too.
So the moral of the story is: When it comes to breastfeeding, if your parents are part of the 'formula generation', education is crucial in getting their support, and don't let them touch your boobs.
