For any parent who can throw a sandwich, a cookie, and an apple into a brown bag and call it lunch for your child, consider yourself lucky. Both my kids are allergic to dairy and eggs. My son is also allergic to wheat, peanuts, and fish. My daughter, while she hasn't been officially tested yet, appears to be allergic to walnuts in addition to the dairy and eggs.
When I was pregnant, I had visions of baking cookies with my kids during holidays, having them lick batter off the spatula, maybe stealing the odd-shaped cookies off the rack before packing the pretty ones in baggies to share with friends. When you have a child who is allergic to wheat, eggs, and dairy, that becomes a much harder vision to realize.
On the more serious side, these food allergies mean a quick trip to the grocery store is at least an hour long, as I read over every single food label. I have episodes of anxiety at the thought of my son starting school, where an innocent trade of his potato chips for a friend's Oreo cookie might mean a trip to the emergency room. When we go out to eat, it's always Asian food, so that he at least can have a bowl of rice if nothing else on the menu is edible for him.
It is exhausting to be so vigilant about every morsel they put in their mouth. And this manifestation of my love and concern for them goes unappreciated. You are nobody's favorite mommy when you have to tell your boy that he can't have a taste of birthday cake or ice cream at his best friend's party.
I know I am not alone out there. Google searches have revealed countless web sites, blogs, and chat rooms devoted to this topic. But it feels like being on an island sometimes, to have to carry this worry over something so basic as eating. I only hope that all the care I put into planning my kids' diet and meals will result in healthier kids down the road.
Still, what I would give just to be able to order a pizza for dinner after a long day's work for once.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Stuff I Love: Aden & Anais Swaddling Blankets
My little girl has allergies, so even though most parents stop swaddling their babies around three months, I still wrap my baby up like a burrito every night so that she won't scratch her face.
What I Love: Aden & Anais Muslin Blankets. They are super big and soft swaddling blankets (44" x 44") that can be used for a variety of other purposes besides swaddling.
Why I Love It: First of all, most baby blankets are 30" x 30". My 7-month-0ld is over 25" long, there is no way a normal receiving blanket is going to hold her. So these blankets get a thumbs-up just for being big enough to wrap my girl up.
But they also come in really cute patterns. I have the "girlie" collection, which features dots, stripes, and stars in pink and brown. And the fact that they are cotton muslin makes them soft, softer with each washing in fact.
And you can use them for more than just swaddling. They make a fine burp cloth or play mat. They are fabulous to drape over your stroller to keep the sun out of your little one's eyes. They are big enough to roll up to use as a bolster. I have even made one into a makeshift sling in a pinch.
You can purchase them at: http://www.adenandanais.com/. At $44 for 4 blankets, they are very reasonably priced for all the use you will get out of them.
What I Love: Aden & Anais Muslin Blankets. They are super big and soft swaddling blankets (44" x 44") that can be used for a variety of other purposes besides swaddling.
Why I Love It: First of all, most baby blankets are 30" x 30". My 7-month-0ld is over 25" long, there is no way a normal receiving blanket is going to hold her. So these blankets get a thumbs-up just for being big enough to wrap my girl up.
But they also come in really cute patterns. I have the "girlie" collection, which features dots, stripes, and stars in pink and brown. And the fact that they are cotton muslin makes them soft, softer with each washing in fact.
And you can use them for more than just swaddling. They make a fine burp cloth or play mat. They are fabulous to drape over your stroller to keep the sun out of your little one's eyes. They are big enough to roll up to use as a bolster. I have even made one into a makeshift sling in a pinch.
You can purchase them at: http://www.adenandanais.com/. At $44 for 4 blankets, they are very reasonably priced for all the use you will get out of them.
If Moms Ran the World...
At this year's Emmy Awards, Sally Field was censored for making the statement that "if mothers ran the world, there wouldn't be any goddamn wars!" And I recently had an epiphany on why that sentiment is true.
When my son was an infant, he spat up often. My husband and I would joke, "There he goes, making cheese again." I never gave it a second thought because babies spit up. It was never a lot, and he was tracking on the 75th percentile on all the growth charts. We found out after his first birthday that he has a lot of food allergies (wheat, eggs, dairy, fish, peanuts), which was causing his eczema to flare up. Once I cut all the offending foods out of my diet, his skin cleared up.
When my daughter broke out with eczema patches, I immediately cut all the foods my son was allergic to out of my diet. Her skin, too, cleared up immediately. I added the foods in one by one to determine exactly which foods exascerbated her eczema. The culprits: egg and dairy. I know this because even a teaspoon of mayonnaise on a sandwich I ate would result in her spitting up after I nursed her.
Then the thought seized upon me: all that "cheese" my son made, was it because I hadn't cut out the offending foods from my diet? Did I short-change him nutritionally because of all the milk he lost when he would spit up? I was racked with guilt - if he ends up being scrawny, is it because of what I ate while I was nursing him?
My husband told me not to worry, I didn't know at the time, and to move on. And that's the difference. Men will plead ignorance and never give a transgression a second thought. Damage is done, but a man will move on.
Mothers, on the other hand, worry. They tie the most insignificant, inconsequential moments to larger events, to actions, to reactions, and they scrutinize themselves, constantly contemplating how their own actions played a part in how a situation unfolds. Mothers consider the people around them, and they take some accountability for the impact, good or bad, they have on others.
There are definitely advantages to being able to move on. Certainly, moving on results in less money spent on therapy (psychological and retail). Yet, I can't help but think that the world might be in a better state if our world leaders felt the accountability for the human race the way mothers accept responsibility for the well-being of their children.
When my son was an infant, he spat up often. My husband and I would joke, "There he goes, making cheese again." I never gave it a second thought because babies spit up. It was never a lot, and he was tracking on the 75th percentile on all the growth charts. We found out after his first birthday that he has a lot of food allergies (wheat, eggs, dairy, fish, peanuts), which was causing his eczema to flare up. Once I cut all the offending foods out of my diet, his skin cleared up.
When my daughter broke out with eczema patches, I immediately cut all the foods my son was allergic to out of my diet. Her skin, too, cleared up immediately. I added the foods in one by one to determine exactly which foods exascerbated her eczema. The culprits: egg and dairy. I know this because even a teaspoon of mayonnaise on a sandwich I ate would result in her spitting up after I nursed her.
Then the thought seized upon me: all that "cheese" my son made, was it because I hadn't cut out the offending foods from my diet? Did I short-change him nutritionally because of all the milk he lost when he would spit up? I was racked with guilt - if he ends up being scrawny, is it because of what I ate while I was nursing him?
My husband told me not to worry, I didn't know at the time, and to move on. And that's the difference. Men will plead ignorance and never give a transgression a second thought. Damage is done, but a man will move on.
Mothers, on the other hand, worry. They tie the most insignificant, inconsequential moments to larger events, to actions, to reactions, and they scrutinize themselves, constantly contemplating how their own actions played a part in how a situation unfolds. Mothers consider the people around them, and they take some accountability for the impact, good or bad, they have on others.
There are definitely advantages to being able to move on. Certainly, moving on results in less money spent on therapy (psychological and retail). Yet, I can't help but think that the world might be in a better state if our world leaders felt the accountability for the human race the way mothers accept responsibility for the well-being of their children.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Stuff I Love - The Joovy Ultralight
Today's parents are beset by all manner of baby gear. Walk in to any baby superstore (the fact that baby stuff must be sold in "superstores" speaks volumes, doesn't it) and you will have hundreds of strollers, car seats, high chairs, bouncy seats, play pens, learning mats, bottles, binkies, and random gadgetry from which to choose. And EVERYTHING is expensive. So what to buy?
Hearing from other parents is always the best way to figure out what to spend your hard-earned money on, but it's important to ask not only what they love but why they love it. Herewith, I give you my first rave review of a product that is worth your money.
What I love: the Joovy Caboose Ultralight stroller. It is a stroller made for two children of different ages, with a seat/infant carrier in the front and a rear-facing jump seat and standing platform in the back.
Why I love it: We had been using an umbrella stroller for my son and a snap-n-go infant carrier for my daughter, and that worked pretty well. It actually still does, and for occasions where we might split up (like at the mall), it is still our usual stroller arrangement. But we have a wedding in Hawaii to attend in October, and the thought of lugging two strollers, a car seat, and an infant carrier for a 4-day trip was unappealing. I decided that as much as I would prefer not to buy another stroller, a double stroller of some kind would really be useful.
My criteria for a double stroller was it had to be: (1) fairly compact (able to fit into a standard sized car's trunk when folded and can fit through a regular doorway when opened), (2) fairly light (can be picked up with one hand), (3) steerable with one hand, (4) not completely ugly.
The Joovy Ultralight meets all the criteria. It is the same width as my Graco Metrolite single stroller, and when folded, it fits in the back of our sedan. It is light enough that I can pull it out of our SUV cargo with one hand, although it's still heavier than most single strollers. On a flat road or smooth floor, it is easy to maneuver with one hand; it still requires two hands to steer it straight on a bumpy surface. And it comes in three cool colors: light sage green (the one I got), creamy sunset orange, or black.
More importantly, my son, who is about 2 1/2, had started to lose interest and willingness to sit in his stroller. Many times, he would want to get out and help me push the stroller. Or rather, take off the heels of unsuspecting pedestrians around us. With the Ultralight, he loves that he can face Mommy or Daddy and talk to us, and he loves that he can stand or sit. When he's standing, it's easy for him to hop off when he wants to walk and hop back on when he's tired. And he likes that he can see his baby sister and is sharing a ride with her.
There are several of these sit and stand strollers out there, but after looking at all of them, I like the Ultralight the best. First of all, it is more compact than most of the others. This is because the jump seat on the Ultralight slides back to give more room when the child is standing and slides forward for when he is sitting. Others with a stationary seat need the extra room so that the child can still sit comfortably. It is also one of the few models that has padded handles for both the child and parent, which make it more comfortable and cooler for both of you to hang on. And it is one of only a handful of models that has a parent organizer tray.
Finally, if you are trying to figure out if the Ultralight Caboose is worth $80 more than the regular Caboose, the answer is yes. The Ultralight has a snap lock for the jump seat, includes the parent organizer (which is purchased separately for the regular Caboose), comes in nicer colors, and really does feel a lot lighter.
So there you have it. If you've got two little ones who are 18 - 40ish months apart, and you want a double stroller, get yourself a Joovy Ultralight Caboose. And if you're lucky like I was, you might find a really good condition one on Craigslist!
Hearing from other parents is always the best way to figure out what to spend your hard-earned money on, but it's important to ask not only what they love but why they love it. Herewith, I give you my first rave review of a product that is worth your money.
What I love: the Joovy Caboose Ultralight stroller. It is a stroller made for two children of different ages, with a seat/infant carrier in the front and a rear-facing jump seat and standing platform in the back.
Why I love it: We had been using an umbrella stroller for my son and a snap-n-go infant carrier for my daughter, and that worked pretty well. It actually still does, and for occasions where we might split up (like at the mall), it is still our usual stroller arrangement. But we have a wedding in Hawaii to attend in October, and the thought of lugging two strollers, a car seat, and an infant carrier for a 4-day trip was unappealing. I decided that as much as I would prefer not to buy another stroller, a double stroller of some kind would really be useful.
My criteria for a double stroller was it had to be: (1) fairly compact (able to fit into a standard sized car's trunk when folded and can fit through a regular doorway when opened), (2) fairly light (can be picked up with one hand), (3) steerable with one hand, (4) not completely ugly.
The Joovy Ultralight meets all the criteria. It is the same width as my Graco Metrolite single stroller, and when folded, it fits in the back of our sedan. It is light enough that I can pull it out of our SUV cargo with one hand, although it's still heavier than most single strollers. On a flat road or smooth floor, it is easy to maneuver with one hand; it still requires two hands to steer it straight on a bumpy surface. And it comes in three cool colors: light sage green (the one I got), creamy sunset orange, or black.
More importantly, my son, who is about 2 1/2, had started to lose interest and willingness to sit in his stroller. Many times, he would want to get out and help me push the stroller. Or rather, take off the heels of unsuspecting pedestrians around us. With the Ultralight, he loves that he can face Mommy or Daddy and talk to us, and he loves that he can stand or sit. When he's standing, it's easy for him to hop off when he wants to walk and hop back on when he's tired. And he likes that he can see his baby sister and is sharing a ride with her.
There are several of these sit and stand strollers out there, but after looking at all of them, I like the Ultralight the best. First of all, it is more compact than most of the others. This is because the jump seat on the Ultralight slides back to give more room when the child is standing and slides forward for when he is sitting. Others with a stationary seat need the extra room so that the child can still sit comfortably. It is also one of the few models that has padded handles for both the child and parent, which make it more comfortable and cooler for both of you to hang on. And it is one of only a handful of models that has a parent organizer tray.
Finally, if you are trying to figure out if the Ultralight Caboose is worth $80 more than the regular Caboose, the answer is yes. The Ultralight has a snap lock for the jump seat, includes the parent organizer (which is purchased separately for the regular Caboose), comes in nicer colors, and really does feel a lot lighter.
So there you have it. If you've got two little ones who are 18 - 40ish months apart, and you want a double stroller, get yourself a Joovy Ultralight Caboose. And if you're lucky like I was, you might find a really good condition one on Craigslist!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Pump 'Til You Drop
I have two friends who have recently given birth to their first babies, one of them having birthed twins vaginally (I will forever be in awe that she accomplished that). And it seems that when I talk to them, pumping breast milk is a topic that always comes up. When it comes to the natural art of breastfeeding, pumping is a new, hi-tech phenomenon.
The variety of breastmilk pumps on the market today is staggering. Everyone asks which model of pump is best, manual or electric (or both), which manufacturer to get, what accessories are needed, whether to buy or rent.... And those questions come up before ever getting the breastmilk pump. Then the questions turn to how often to pump, how does pumping work with feeding, how does one clean the pump (especially in public), yada yada yada.
For anyone who has questions about breastfeeding, I recommend the Kellymom website (www.kellymom.com), which has a great section covering pumping (www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html).
If you are a pumping mom, I salute you, because I personally find pumping to be a big fat pain in the boob and a lot of trouble. One of my friends is pumping exclusively - what a hero! If I were in her place, I probably would have switched to formula already. My friend with twins has had something attached to her boobs since the twins were born - either a baby or a breast pump.
As for my own situation, I am lucky to be able to breastfeed directly most of the time, so I use a small hand pump (Medela Harmony) or hand express when needed. I do, however, recommend getting some Medela freezer tubes (www.medela.com/NewFiles/brpmpacc.html#freezer_pak) for milk storage. They allow you to store your milk in smaller amounts, about 2.5 ounces, and you can attach a nipple directly to the bottles to feed. And after you're done breastfeeding, they make great storage for Cheerios in your kiddie bag or lunch box.
Happy Pumping.
The variety of breastmilk pumps on the market today is staggering. Everyone asks which model of pump is best, manual or electric (or both), which manufacturer to get, what accessories are needed, whether to buy or rent.... And those questions come up before ever getting the breastmilk pump. Then the questions turn to how often to pump, how does pumping work with feeding, how does one clean the pump (especially in public), yada yada yada.
For anyone who has questions about breastfeeding, I recommend the Kellymom website (www.kellymom.com), which has a great section covering pumping (www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/index.html).
If you are a pumping mom, I salute you, because I personally find pumping to be a big fat pain in the boob and a lot of trouble. One of my friends is pumping exclusively - what a hero! If I were in her place, I probably would have switched to formula already. My friend with twins has had something attached to her boobs since the twins were born - either a baby or a breast pump.
As for my own situation, I am lucky to be able to breastfeed directly most of the time, so I use a small hand pump (Medela Harmony) or hand express when needed. I do, however, recommend getting some Medela freezer tubes (www.medela.com/NewFiles/brpmpacc.html#freezer_pak) for milk storage. They allow you to store your milk in smaller amounts, about 2.5 ounces, and you can attach a nipple directly to the bottles to feed. And after you're done breastfeeding, they make great storage for Cheerios in your kiddie bag or lunch box.
Happy Pumping.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Whose Boobs Are They Anyway?
Breastfeeding mothers today face many challenges. In addition to the ordeals that can come with both mommy and baby learning how to breastfeed, what should be a normal way of feeding is still considered taboo in a lot of public places and situations. But many mothers expect this and understand that strangers may feel uncomfortable when one whips a boob out in a public place.
What this mother did not expect is to encounter so much resistance to breastfeeding from her own mother. I was born in the 1970's, when the prevailing medical opinion was that formula was better than breast milk. "Fortified with all the nutrients science has proven your baby needs!" "Know exactly how much your baby is eating!" "Easy and convenient!" "Liberate the mom from feeding duty!"
Of course, today's doctors recommend breastfeeding when possible. But that didn't change my mother's opinion. Whenever my son was sick or fussy in his first few months of life, my mother would say, "Maybe there is something wrong with your milk," or "maybe you're not making enough". In truth, I think my decision to breastfeed, first and foremost, shattered my mother's ideas of what it meant to be a grandma: she had always pictured herself sitting in a glider, cradling her grandson in her arms, and feeding him a bottle of milk. If I were to breastfeed, she thought that she would never get the satisfaction of feeding her grand-baby. But I think she also may have felt a pang of guilt over not breastfeeding me, even though at the time, it was what the doctors recommended.
When she realized that I could, and would, pump when I went to work, she was a little more supportive, if not more informed. "Why don't you just pump like a quart of breastmilk in the morning before you go to work instead of pumping all day? If there is any left over, you can go out for dinner and I can babysit."
It took a LOT of educating and forwarding of articles and web pages on my part before she came around. And I learned that what she wanted most was to be involved in the process. When I would breastfeed, if my mother was around, she would often accompany me and watch in wonder. If my son fussed at the nipple, she would gently cheer him on, "Come on, baby, it's OK. Your mommy has milky for you."
However, it did eventually get a little ridiculous. At one point, she felt comfortable enough not only to cheer him on, but she would actually jiggle my boob around to help him find the nipple (think Diana Ross's fondling of L'il Kim's jugs at the MTV Video Awards). Mom, really, do you have to grab my boob? This is really embarrassing, the waiter will be back with our order any minute now! If people are uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out her boob in public, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they are seeing that woman's mother bouncing her boob around, too.
So the moral of the story is: When it comes to breastfeeding, if your parents are part of the 'formula generation', education is crucial in getting their support, and don't let them touch your boobs.
What this mother did not expect is to encounter so much resistance to breastfeeding from her own mother. I was born in the 1970's, when the prevailing medical opinion was that formula was better than breast milk. "Fortified with all the nutrients science has proven your baby needs!" "Know exactly how much your baby is eating!" "Easy and convenient!" "Liberate the mom from feeding duty!"
Of course, today's doctors recommend breastfeeding when possible. But that didn't change my mother's opinion. Whenever my son was sick or fussy in his first few months of life, my mother would say, "Maybe there is something wrong with your milk," or "maybe you're not making enough". In truth, I think my decision to breastfeed, first and foremost, shattered my mother's ideas of what it meant to be a grandma: she had always pictured herself sitting in a glider, cradling her grandson in her arms, and feeding him a bottle of milk. If I were to breastfeed, she thought that she would never get the satisfaction of feeding her grand-baby. But I think she also may have felt a pang of guilt over not breastfeeding me, even though at the time, it was what the doctors recommended.
When she realized that I could, and would, pump when I went to work, she was a little more supportive, if not more informed. "Why don't you just pump like a quart of breastmilk in the morning before you go to work instead of pumping all day? If there is any left over, you can go out for dinner and I can babysit."
It took a LOT of educating and forwarding of articles and web pages on my part before she came around. And I learned that what she wanted most was to be involved in the process. When I would breastfeed, if my mother was around, she would often accompany me and watch in wonder. If my son fussed at the nipple, she would gently cheer him on, "Come on, baby, it's OK. Your mommy has milky for you."
However, it did eventually get a little ridiculous. At one point, she felt comfortable enough not only to cheer him on, but she would actually jiggle my boob around to help him find the nipple (think Diana Ross's fondling of L'il Kim's jugs at the MTV Video Awards). Mom, really, do you have to grab my boob? This is really embarrassing, the waiter will be back with our order any minute now! If people are uncomfortable seeing a woman whip out her boob in public, I can only imagine how uncomfortable they are seeing that woman's mother bouncing her boob around, too.
So the moral of the story is: When it comes to breastfeeding, if your parents are part of the 'formula generation', education is crucial in getting their support, and don't let them touch your boobs.
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